Standing in the truth !!

I am a big Suze Orman fan and even though she is talking about finances when she says it,  I want to stand in my truth.

In asking others to join me here, I want to be honest with my current weight and goals and keep track of my progress here.

I am 51 years old,  a mom to four, grandma to seven and have been overweight since our second child, adding to that weight each of the pregnancies.

My weight at the doctors office today was a scary 257. I am not proud of that number. Before I got pregnant with our first child I weighed 118 pounds. I was not a stick at that point either. I had a bit of weight on me. But I am willing to shoot a bit higher but still fairly low at 125 which means I need to lose a bit over half my body weight. The doctors office gave me a sheet stating my bmi is 44.97 as of today. Yikes !! I am almost half fat, that is so sad !!

I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am sad, bored, happy, angry , frustrated , you name it, I will eat in that moment . I am an impulsive eater and usually not lazy. I have no problem making something from scratch if I want it bad enough.

I have been diagnoised with prediabetes but with taking cinnamon supliments twice a day and walking at least once a day I have kept my blood sugar well below 100 without meds and that is something I am very happy about.

I do have elevated blood pressure , today it was 134/92 and my cholesterol last time it was taken , end of last year was 240 , I cannot remember the break down but only my LDL was bad, my HDL and triglerides were good.  For that reason only I was not put on meds.

I have what is called metoblic syndrome. I have a  good deal of weight in my belly, and it is out of proportion to the rest of me. I am fat all over, of course. You cannot be 127 pounds overweight and not be fat everywhere, but my stomach is way out of proportion to the rest of my body. Once I get some of that belly fat gone, I should see my numbers all come down. The belly fat from how it was told to me by the endrocrinologist , is alive and releases hormones that cause trouble with your blood sugar and causes the higher numbers on the blood pressure and cholesterol. Having a fat behind is much healther as that fat does not do that, only belly fat  has the ability to trash your health that way. So, I have got to get about 50 pounds off to see some differances I would think. Only the last twenty to thirty pounds seemed to cause me the trouble but I am going to work very hard to get this frist 5o off this next year. Unlike those contestants on The Biggest Loser, one of my husbands and my favorate shows, it will not come out in huge losses every week not having a Bob Harper and gym at my beck and call !!!  If I can lose one to 2 pounds a week the next year, I will be very happy.

I plan to be very transparent here. I will post my weights and any test results when I go to the doctor. I wil talk about how I did each day, did I eat well, or cheat, how much excercise did I get and so on. I would love others to jump in every day to share thier progress and maybe we can really encourage each other to get where we each want to be !! 

So, day one officially starts tomorrow, I ate pretty good today but not as perfect as I plan to, so tomorrow night I will post my progress and maybe even post through the day. I am very excited and hope to meet many other people trying to lose, so please introduce yourself and share what you are comfortable sharing here !! 

We can do it !!! 


No more excuses !!!

Today I got up and decided no more excuses. I am tired of being heavy and not feeling my best because of it !!

I want to get fit and have energy and between my weight and the benedryl I am taking for my really awful allergies this year, I am just tired all the time.

I would love to move in two months and be on my way to a fitter body. It would be nice to lose some weight before we move. I have to get used to going up and down a staircase as we will be on the second floor !! 

Biggest Loser this year has a theme of no excuses and I think it is a good one. So, that is the  mantra I am going to use from now on. No excuses !!  I want to feel great and look nice and feel comfortable in my own body and being this heavy it is impossible to feel comfortable .

So, I decided last night that when I got up today I was going to get going. I want to watch how much I eat, aim for 1200 calories a day and try to get at least 30 minutes of excercise a day.

I am dreading the doctor today, the scale, they will take my blood pressure and all that stuff and I am not looking forward to it. I have got to get the weight off to prevent health issues, namely diabetes and heart disease, my stomach weight makes me a huge candidate for those and I have the start of rising blood sugar and cholesterol and blood pressure caused by, I am told metabolic syndrome. So far I am avoiding taking all kinds of meds but it is inevitable if I do not get this weight off and get active.

So, today is day one and I am hoping in the next two months before I move I can work hard and see some signifacant changes in my body and how I feel.

I have to learn patience , that is a big one and my ADD I have had since childhood makes me more impulsive about eating and I will have to firmly combat that as well. Wanting something and eating it have to be two differant things. I tend to want, and then have whatever I want. 

I will keep track here how I do and anyone else trying to lose weight, I would love to  hear your stories. I am always inspired by others successes !!

So, I am on my way to a healthier me , one day at a time, no more excuses !! I deserve to be fit and feel good and I am going to work hard to make it happen !!!

New year, new start

It has been a w hile since I posted and no, I never did the 100 days of real food, lol !!

I am still in the same postion weight wise as I was at the time of my last post. I am at 253 and seriously need to get about half of me gone.

I found a wonderful blog, called Slim Down U and the author also faced a weight issue and went on to lose 125 pounds. I find her quite inspiring and realized that blogging would help me as well.

I find I am an emotional eater and it really does not matter what emotion is driving me at the time. Anger, sadness, happiness, frustration, boredom, all are feelings that drive me to eat and lets get real. When I emotionally eat, it is not carrots and celery I am eating. It is ice cream and brownies and chips and fast food. I have never been upset and said, oh, I think I am going to eat a salad. I want a fatty, sugary food to bury my emotions in.

I am not really sure why food drives me like it does. I was a very thin child, never had any real weight issues until I started having kids. I lost most of the weight with our first, Ryan, Then after Tracy got back down to around 140, not quite the 125 as I was after Ryan. Although I started at 118 before I got pregnant with him. After Nikki I never saw below 160 and after Cameron  176 was new lowest and by the time he was seven and I was 36 I was over 200 and sitting at 204 and in the 22 years since he was born, I have been as high as 257 and as low as 220 but have stayed for the last few years in the 245 to 253 range which is awful. I am grateful I did not go up even more, but I am ready to face this challenge and learn to overcome my issues with food.

I am prediabetic and on metformin to help me keep my blood sugar down, and today I was happy to see it is 95. I wish it was 95 off meds and I am not sure if the meds are the reason it is lower. But I am assuming it is. I have not been eating good enough to change my blood sugar.

My endrocrinologist says I have metobolic syndrome and that the belly fat I have causes hormonal changes in my body and that the belly fat is very differant that the fat on the rest of the body. It causes a lot of my blood sugar issues and makes it much harder to lose the weight. It causes my cholestorol to be too high and my blood pressure is up slightly too. All these situations will be gone once I lose some weight, probably only about forty or fifty of my pounds gone will probably start to reverse the health issues.

It is time to get up off my behind and walk. Excercise helps diabetes almost more t han diet, and yet, I have not done it.

So, today, I am goign to start this journey and take slow and steady steps. Walk every day, even if it is only 15 minutes and build it up. Start eating better and eliminating the  bad stuff and do not beat myself up when I make a mistake but work very hard to find a way to lose this weight AND keep it off that works for me .

So, almost two full months into this new year, I am starting my journey. I plan to be successful this time and take it day by day and be loving to myself and not beat myself up for not being good enough. I have come a long way in my thoughts about myself and I do not have, and never really did have the self hate that many overwieght people have but I have been hard on myself and would beat myself up for not doing good enough.

Most people know that positive reinforcement works better t han negitive, yet we are so negitive towards ourselves . We would never tell a friend or loved one struggling hard with weight the things we can say to  ourselves. So, I am goign to love myself through this and make sure I understand I deserve it and I can do it.

So, heres to day one and a fresh start to finding the new me !!

Day 63 no caffiene

I have not posted in way too long and figured it was time to get on here and put in some updates !!

I am at day 63 caffiene free and doing great. I have to admit that twice in this last two weeks I had a very small  serving of diet soda with caffiene, only 8 ounces each time, but sometimes when you eat out, water gets tiring, but I did not get refils either time and the cups were f ull of ice and small. I will try hard to not do that again, but this is for life, and once in a while I am going to drink a bit of caffiene but the fact that for 63 days, I have drank mostly water and only two eight ounce servings of c affiene is pretty darn goood, I am not beating myself up over it at all !!

I have to admit the last two weeks I did buy some caffiene free soda for at home, and  I am finishing up my latest bottle and then I am stopping for a while. Old habits are hard to break and when I have diet soda in the house, I drink less water and I need water not soda in my daily diet. I am trying to keep it for special occasions but since I managed to spend the day at our grand daughters third birthday party with only drinking water, I am going to try harder even on special occasions to just drink water or lemon water with stevia in it. The soda is really ripping up my stomach so it is just not worth it at all.

I am going to get my eating back on track this week too, got into some old bad habits and I have got to take back control. It is so darn easy to fall back into those bad eating habits and I have too much health risks at hand to continue being stupid.

Also for some dumb reason I had not taken my vitamins for around two or three weeks and that is something I am usually very good about, but had gotten totally out of the habit, but now I am starting back today and I will take them every single day.

Well, just wanted to check in and keep this blog up to date on my progress.

On a really postive note, no period in 133 days, so getting a lot closer every day to my first half year , and then really looking forward to that year mark as that will mean I am done for good !! I am so ready to be done with this part of my life !! This has been a very happy develoipement for sure !!

Well, on to work, gotta lot of stuff to do and some posting on my angelrose creations b log to do as well today !! 

I am looking forward to a really nice day !!

40 days !!!

40 days today of drinking water and no caffeine  I have had a few diet caffeine  free sodas through this time, but only a few, compared  to a two liter bottle a day of the diet dr pepper with caffeine .  I am very committed to not drinking the caffeine as I know it is so bad for me .

I do find it funny that everyone used to tell me, give up the diet soda and you will lose weight, which never made sense to me being it was diet, not regular soda, I however, gained ten pounds, which frustrates me !!  I exhanged it for plain water, so that is not like I am drinking more calories. I am going to get moving and excercise every day and work on my food too. But geez, not even a little bit of a loss !! So much for that theory !!

But, 40 days is great !! On my way to six months caffeine free which is supposed to be how long it takes to get it all completely out of my system !! 

I am very pleased !!!

Over a month and going strong !!

today is day 31 of no caffiene and drinking water. I had a couple of diet sodas  , caffiene free of course, this week and once again did not like how t hey made me feel so I am comfortable saying I feel I am done with them.

I am doing great with water and today I allowed myself a glass of water with some lemon juice and a couple of stevia packets with my  lunch, I liked it so much I had another one, and used up the lemon I cut up, but then I was fine the rest of the day with ice water. I am thriled with that.

If you had told me I would be able to go a month plus drinking only water, I would have laughed at that statement. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be able to give up my life long love affair with diet soda, but it appears we have broken up !! I could not be happier about it. Water is healthier, my skin looks better, my bladder feels better , lol, and it is a heck of a lot cheaper than buying diet soda. No more caffiene ups and downs . I know that is much better on my adrenal glands and my body overall.

I have not made much progress on the rest of my plan, but I am slowly eating better and  although not really exciercising I am trying to move a bit more and excercise is something very important to me and I plan to really start doing something. The kids will be at school part of the day and that will allow me some  p rivacy to work out, that will be great !!

So, I am very pleased with this accomplishment and look forward to one day not even remembering the last day I had a diet soda because it will have been so long ago !!!

OH, another benefit of giving up carmel colored drinks, whiter teeth, big differance, and I love that too !! So many positives and no real  negitives !!

Still going strong !!!

I have not been good at posting, I keep saying I will post more often and t hen I don’t !!

I am still drinking water, all water, everyday. I am at day 16  today and did allow myself a fast food cafffiene free diet coke, but feel so crappy after drinking it, NO MORE !! I have no desire to drink another one and honestly, it just did not taste all that good. I drank it, but I came home with a refill and never finished it, went to the cold water. So, I do not h ave to worry about breaking an addiction, it seems broken already.  I am happy about that.

So, I will keep on going and slowly start working on other things too, but for now, I just want to keep working on something I am doing well and that is the water, and also start excercsing every day for a half hour. I have to do that at least.  30 minutes a day every day starting tomorrow. No more diet changes yet, just water and excercise !! I can do it !!

So, on to day 17 of water, I am really enjoying it a lot !!

Thanks for stopping by !!