Looking ahead to a good year

I was shocked to see that almost a full year has passed since I posted on this blog . It has been a busy year, and one that seemed to everyone I talked to, to fly by. I cannot believe it is three weeks into the new year. I hope this year will slow down just a bit. I do not want this one to fly by as fast as last year did.

A lot has changed since last year, and a lot has NOT changed since last year. Our  youngest daughter and her family moved out and now her little brother is moving in. Some things I could not pull off for our daughter before she moved in, we can pull off for him. We removed some ancient disgusting carpet from the living room. Our daughter had removed the same carpet from the room her girls, our three grandaughters used and refinished the floors so they were clean , pretty , and sanitary . However, with them out, we decided to do new carpet in that room, the front living room they, and now he will  use, and the main hall that connects all the rooms in the front of the house as well. Now that carpet is installed, and even though we have to paint what will be his bedroom, he is moving in tomorrow. He  just wants out of the apartment he has been in since he moved out to let them move in after our son in law was in a horrific car accident and needed to recover. He really was not ready to move out and is happy to move back in so he can get his savings where he wants them, get a new car and just get where he wants to before he moves out for good.

So, we have been working on the house. Kitchen major reno ongoing, both baths mini renos .Moving my studio  back into the front bedroom I was in, that I moved out of to give our daughter and son in law a bedroom. My hubby and I have been sharing a much smaller and dark room , as both our studios for the last almost year and a half, so I am thrilled to be back home in my big bright, front bedroom again.HE is thrilled to have that one to himself.  I am still getting set up, and so is he ,but at least I am in this lovely space. Our son only needs one bedroom, so he took the one the girls had been in and he will use the big front living room, we have the smaller family room off the kitchen for our living space, and our master suite is off that family room so it gives us separation , other than during the day if I am in my studio. But evenings he and his friends can take advantage of the dining table I have in here as a work space as I am rarely in here after about five or six at night.

As for personally, I am working on getting healthier. My doc gave me three months to try diet and exercise to lower my blood pressure, blood sugar , and mainly my cholesterol. The other two are okay, not dangerous but they were often on the cusp, but my cholesterol was bad.

So, my wonderful cousin and dear friend, gave me a fitbit and is dieting with me. She is a nurse practitioner so she is staying on top of me from Calif. We talk weekly. She is working on her diet too and she keeps me on track. My husband is on the same diet with me and that helps a lot. He also has a lot of weight to lose. His cholesterol is not as bad as mine, but still needs to come down a bit too.

I started my plan on January 2 , and have had a few bad choices, but overall I have done great, so has my hubby. I started my daily walk today. 30 minutes. I have to do that every day , per docs orders, but just took time to get the food right first. Now, food is good, and I am adding the 30 minutes a day walking in the house. I will eventually get back to a gym, but for now, this will work !!! My fitbit got very excited, lol !!!

So, this year, clearing out inventory in my studio . Keeping the stuff I love, but selling all my old stock, and inventory of old stuff I made ,  along with a good amount of my  materials. I want to do art this year, writing this year ,and the  bead work that I love to do , so it is time for all the rest to go away and put some money back in our accounts !! I have a lovely , creative room, and now I have a lot of work ahead as I clear out and add stuff to my Etsy shop.

clear out old inventory and materials from my studio and make some money doing it

publish a book I have been working on with my husband for ten years

get our front porch all gingerbreaded out with paint and looking like new

get in shape and lose a lot of weight

get my numbers down and keep them down so I do not have to go on any meds

get back to reading again. I have a lovely stack of books I picked up last year, but never seem to find the time to read. I want to change that.

So, I am excited about my goals for the year. We have some fun plans in the work for the year, and some great family stuff coming up, weddings and a baby. So, it looks like a fun year ahead, and a lot of work as well which I am excited to do.

Thanks for stopping by,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have to admit I am a bit bored right now and other ramblings …..

I am dealing with some boredom issues lately and that is not like me. I have tons of books, but just cannot settle down to read. I was working on my etsy store, but with only three sales in a month with 300 views I am a bit reluctant to spend much more on listing if I am not selling anything. I am just not able to figure out why ? I seem to be blocked no matter what I do. Someone will ask for my card, they want to buy something and then I never hear from them. I even tried to show pictures one day and my iphone refused to pull up my etsy account, it is really weird. So, I am a bit lost now that that huge project is on hold. I have so much to list, hundreds of items and had planned on working on that every week, but now, with that packed away for now, I am at a total loss and I am also bored stupid !

It is the first time since I became a mom at 20, that my life is my own.  I am 52 years old. I do not have to work around kids, or grandkids schedules and that is just weird. I think I am just finding my place right now. My husband is at work and I am  home all day without a car, so that makes it a bit hard sometimes, but I am doing okay , why in the heck did my font change, I kept trying to go back and start typing over, but it changed anyway, weird !!

I am just taking it a day at a time, trying to figure out how to lose weight, I am really sick of being huge and just want to get this weight off but it is really not happening. Just finished an eight week stint on low carb with zero results. I had one cheat meal at day ten because my hubby was starting with me the next day. We followed the diet by the book, and neither of us lost a bit over the next almost seven weeks, so we are going to try something else. It is such a hard diet to be on, so we will find something not quite so impossible to do long term.

We have four of our  grandkids coming over this weekend, my husbands exact words when I told him the second two were coming was, are you crazy ? lol. I told him no, they will entertain each other and they are all old enough it will be fine. I am very exicted about it and I think he is too !! Four kids, no more pool, too cold and it will be a very cold weekend, so it will be interesting !! I know McDonaldsa indoor playground will be a key player in the weekend plans !!

Anyway. Just in a rambling kind of mood. I will seee if I can post a picture of the park, not sure I can post chihully on the blog, but I can post pictures of the actual park.

To change the subject, the Chihuly exhibit has been extended at the Dallas arboretum until the end of the year and we are both very excited about that. we are so in love with that exhibit and the arboretum itself, we are going to buy a season pass and enjoy it as many times as we can before it is gone in nine or ten weeks !! We both love to take pictures and was that an amazing exhibit !!

I just cannot get my computer to download the picures, it took ten minutes to get the one of the tree.

Okay, well, I am off to find something to do, not sure what, but I am just in that kind of mood tonight !!!

Life is good these days !!

I have to say I have been really enjoying life these days. Miss my hubby a lot as he is working a lot of overtime, but I have been keeping busy and really enjoying this stage of my life.

We recently started a low carb diet due to us both having severe sensitivity to wheat and we both have lost all our symptoms and feel better, no real weight loss yet but I am learning to bake and cook wheat and carb free and it has been a lot of fun. I never knew you could bake low carb and have stuff that tastes great, so that has been fun !!

My etsy site is getting more posts every day, I am pleased to be seeing more items in my store, still a very , very, long way from where I am looking to be, but I can only list so many a day and there is so much to list  and still to photograph , let alone bag and label, it is a a bit overwelmeing but exciting too !! My desk is piled with the stuff I plan to do tomorrow, a bit ambitious, but we will see   !!! I have buckets of stuff to still do, so it will take a few months of lots  of hours per day and week, but I am really excited to do it !!

I want to work on some writing projects but my old computer , where they live, is not  hooked up to the printer so I am a bit stuck and I am old fashioned and will not write unless I can print out the new material for paper back up, so I am sure that will get taken care of this weekend  !!  It seems like I am going all day and I need to get more focused but I will get there and get a nice schedule in place and go from there !!

So, busy life, but happy life, blogging, writing, my photography when possible,  listing on Etsy, playing with the beads and buttons getting them ready to sell,  spending time with my hubby and when we get a chance our kids and grand kids, visiting with friends when possible and by phone when not possible and a pile of good books when I am ready to take a break, let alone a pantry full of new baking ingrediants for our new life style !!  Life is pretty darn good these days and I am just getting started !!  Can’t wait to see what I come up with next, it should be good !!!

Here is that pile for tomorrow , a bit overly ambitious, I have to say, lol !!! I say aim high and see where you land, if you aim too low you might hit the target but not do as much as you would have if you aimed a bit too high and missed  !!!

Off the wagon

I have not been here in about a month. I have lost a few pounds and kept them off, but I am still not doing what I need to be doing to get this weight off.

We are in the middle of getting ready for a big move. We bought our house over ten years ago and decided to rent it out to our oldest daughter and her family so we can move up by my husbands work. He currently drives an hour each way and will only have to drive 15 or so mintues once we move. The stress of the move and preparing for a huge yard sale before we move ,  has really caused my hubby and I to not eat as well as we should be eating.

The good news is the new place, a very nice apartment comes with so many awesome ways to get excercise. Lap pool, five mile hiking and biking trail, all cement, a 24 hour gym, and we plan to use them all. Also being in a second story apartment will cause us to climb s tairs at least once a day !!

So, I am still standing in my truth, I weighed today and I am 250.5 and that is a better then where I started but a huge gap from where I need to be.  I am going to starting trying harder to work on it for the next 25 days until we move, not that I am counting, lol, but once we move, it will be a fresh start and we plan to take full advantage of it !!

I will try to post in the next few weeks, more often, but once we move my obligations will be a lot less and I will be working hard on my goals and posting almost daily at that point !!

Thanks for stopping by !!

Day 4

I know I have not posted in a day and never finished Saturday but I have not fallen off the wagon at all. I had some stuff to take care of and decided to not post about it until today .  I got up to 251 today but for good cause and if you do not like reading about personal stuff like medical stuff, do not read any further, lol !!I did make an interesting discovery which I am thrilled with !!

I  had to do a fast on Sunday for my year overdue first colonoscopy which I had today. Yesterday was not a fun day and I had to basicly not eat anything and use laxitives which were not fun at all. Overall it was not a horrrible day. I made sure to eat light on Sat which helped. I got through yesterday and my test today and I am in perfect health and need not have another test for ten years. I am thrilled !! Now the thing that I discovered which is amazing and fairly exciting to me, is while fasting I of course could not eat any normal food. And all of the allergy symptoms I had been having which had been almost unbearable pretty much  disapeared .  Coughing, and again, too much info for most, but after four kids no kegals, so coughing is not a pleasant thing for me to go through. I am working on it, but the coughing really derailed me.  I have wondered for a long time if I am sensitive to wheat and or dairy but never really acted on it. I got up Sunday, did not eat them and by noon I happened to notice I had not coughed all day. I still took a benedryl to make sure, but by nine no more coughing but since I had to get sleep for my test, I took one anyway at midnight, and  woke up today and no coughing. None. I could not drink cold drinks, they made me cough , I could not have the air on in the room I was in as cold air made me cough so I had to keep the vent in our room closed . I had some coughing fits in the last week where I could not stop. I had discovered taking one benedryl every two hours took care of it, and I did go to the doctor and make sure taking a bendryl every two hours is okay,  so those episodes stopped,  but that had its own problems, sleepiness and feeling so thirsty from it dehydrating me.  So, today after my test I decided to not eat any dairy or wheat for a few weeks and see w hat happens. So far today, can drink cold drinks, can sit under the air conditioning vent and no coughing. I had never had coughing with allergies before, so it was a very weird thing anyway.  But after over a month of miserable coughing and some other allergy symptoms, I am feeling great benedryl free.  I am sorry I had to share my reasons for finding out, but it is a fact and what I had to go through and something we all have to do at 50.  I am hoping this change with the allergies continues and cutting out the food is the solution.

I know the scale today was not completely accurate as I had not eaten in a day, but I am hoping it does not go up much and I can get it in the forties in the next week or two. I am determined to get my weight down . This week I really saw myself for the first time , and truely saw how much I have to lose. It is a bit discouraging but I will get it off. If there are foods bothering my system, cutting them out will help I am sure. If I was wrong and that is not the issue, then I wlll cross that bridge when I come to it, but so far, feeling much better !! It is still allergy season so a bit of symptoms would be normal, but the amount I was having was way worse then I have ever had and I had been told it is just a bad allergy season, but to have it  all but stop suddenly after not eating, that makes me think there might be more to it. I still have a bit of allergy stuff but nothing big and we will see how the cough goes. I have had a tiny little cough here and there but the cough I have had the last six weeks is gone. I will not mind having to take a benedryl or two a day like a normal allergy season, it was the every two hours that wore me out !!

So I had a banana when we got home from the hospital and then  for lunch we went to Logans and I had a piece of grilled salmon, a skewer of grilled veggies a salad with no croutons or cheese on it with olive oil and vinegar , and no rolls with our meal and also had a sweeet potato no butter, cin sugar on the side and put a bit on. It was a healthy and really delicious meal with no wheat or dairy. I will admit I did have a handful of peanuts, who can resist eating them and throwing the shells on the floor, too much fun !!!

For dinner we are mixing black beans, brown rice, corn, mild rotel and some extra lean ground beef  and then David will have some cheese and sour cream but I will not, I will have some guacamole on it though. So, that is today. Will figure out tomorrow before I go to bed. Not leaving things up in the air anymore, but will have a plan for the next day before bed each  night.  I want to eat healthy and not only lose weight but  make sure I do not eat anything that bothers my system, I do not want to go back to that nightmare again.

So, that is what I have been up to this weekend !!  I am happy to start the new week with the medical stuff done. I was a bit anxious about it all and stressed so having that done makes me feel so much better !!

I am looking forward to a great week and seeing where this food experiment takes me.  It will be a challenge but one I am up too. 

No excercise to post today, I am taking it easy, I am bit wiped out from the last two days and they told me to rest today. Tomorrow I will be walking again.  I am bound and determined to get active and get this weight off !!

Day 2

I had to have been a bit bloated yesterday, today my weight is down to 254.5, still way too high, but at last a bit better !!

It is a bit crazy around here today.  My daughter and her hubby and family live with us and they found fleas on thier cats so they have been hard at work to get rid of them. I did not eat much of a breakfast, I ate  two of those prepackaged string cheese things.

Lunch I had two slices of ww bread and a serving of mayo, which is two tablespoons and a small can of tuna in water and a handful of baked lays potato chips .

I will add more through the day as I eat. I Have had a liter of water and a half liter of cyrstal light raspberry ice and a half a litter of crystal lite peach and mago tea.

Starting fresh today

Okay, day one and starting fresh, no more excuses.

Got up and weighed myself, not a good number, but it is what it is and it is my job to change it. My weight this morning is 257. that is my highest number yet and terrifies me because if I am that high, where could it go next. I used to think 240 was my highest, so it is very motivating. I do not want to hit 260.

I think I can say I am not prediabetic . My fasting blood sugar has remained well under 100 for weeks  without meds, today it was 84. I am thrilled with that number . I take cinnamon with chromium twice a day and walk every day at least a bit and if I do those two things, normal blood sugar. Now I have to get the weight off to  make s ure I never do get diabetes.

My goal today is 1200 calories.  Keep the fat down to about 20 to 30 grams and get plenty of fiber through whole grains, fruits and veggies. I plan to get as close to a gallon of water as I can and  choose healthy meals. My goal is to get at least 20 to 30 minutes of walking in as well.

I will p ost my meals here end of the day and will keep track of all my progress on this blog.

So, off to start day one, I am very relieved and excited to be starting my weight loss journey.

OKay, I am editing this through the day to put in my  meals.

Breakfast was a bowl of old fashioned oats I cooked with a bit of raisins in it and then added a small spoonful of spenda brown sugar. You need very little for a good flavor and then a splash of milk.

lunch David and I split a roasted chicken breast sandwhich from Subway. I got no cheese and only the piece of chicken breast, lettuce, tomato and lots of red onions with a splash of  red wine vinigar, NO dressings otherwise and we  had some baked lays , the plain kind with it.  I will post later with dinner .

I had dinner fairly early and due to allergies and being tired I made myself a sandwich with whole wheat bread, natural peanut butter and all fruit  blue berry jelly,and that was all I ate, and no snacks all night.

For snacks during the day  I had a bowl of red grapes and a banana and some raw broc, califlower and carrots with very minimal Italian dressing, just dipped the tip in and did not use much.

Excercise wise I walked twice for 15 minutes each time.

Learning to love ourselves

Another blogger wrote today about people who say negitive things about overweight people, many times disquised as advice.

I do not know why people are so critical of overweight people. It seems to be the last allowed prejudice.  Many feel it is okay to tell someone they need to lose weight and tell them they eat too much and do not understand that damage they are doing.

Many overweight people struggle with self esteem. Sometimes caused by the weight and sometimes the self esteem issue causes the weight. Either way, the people that suffer from lack of self esteem have trouble getting incentive to lose weight , the food has for many become t hier comfort and the more uncomfortable with thier body they are, the more they turn to food. It often becomes  a vicous cycle .

What I want people to understand that are not overweight and have never been overweight and feel good about themselves. They are often asking someone to fight hard for someone they do not love very much. If you do not think you deserve to be happy, or deserve to be thin,  you are not going to be willing to do what it takes to work  to get thin. That causes discomfort, and the food which helps you to bury the discomfort is now going to be taken away. This can cause panic and depression in a person who is suffering with this and often is just not sustainable. Think about it this way. If you do not love yourself, and  you do not feel deserving, you are not going to be willing to fight to get the things y ou do not feel you deserve. Who is going to fight for someone they sometimes even hate or despise ?

We need to concentrate on why someone does not love themselves and teach them why they are loveable, just the way they are. Fat or thin makes no differance in our worth as a person and if  more people who tell the people they love or even just work with and know, how wonderful they and what they admire about them and help them build themselves up, they would want to do the hard work that comes with losing weight. They would start to love them selves and care about themselves and want to fix those things that are not right in thier life, without you telling them too.

Lets be clear. I have never myelf met an overweight person who wanted to be that way.Okay  I do know there are some people out there who love being  heavy  and are happy that way and love themselves heavy , and that is not the issue here. I am talking about those people who do not want to be overweight but just cannot seem to overcome the to them unsurmountable work it takes to get to goal. It is not an easy thing to do.

I have often said when you are over a hundred pounds overweight and starting a diet, it is like trying to go up 100 stairs with one hand and one leg tied behind your back.  Scary and seems impossible. But once you are invested emotionally in yourself. You see the beautfiul person that you are, and that fat or thin  you are worthy of being loved and cherished and also , you are worthy and deserving of being slim and healthy too. At that point you can see yourself reaching goal, you can see yourself happy and slim and the work does not seem overwelming anymore. That stair case seems less scary .  Hard yes, momenets it seems impossible, yes, but you are willing to work through those bad moments because you know that is all they are. Bad moments.

So, if we can just teach our thin friends that they are not helping by saying “constructive ” things , that overweight people  know they  need to lose weight , and they  know they  are too heavy and have health risks because of it.  Instead they should show thier friends they care.  Tell tell them  what  you admire about them and how much you like them. What their strengths are and how beaufiful they are.  Show jthem they  matter and that you are glad they  are here , fat or thin. Love them  unconditionally .

Not many people are willing to fight for someone they do not love or care about, so you are just ingraining that feeling of being unworthy every time  you tell a heavy person what they should be doing. It makes them feel like a failure and it is humiliating.

We are all worthy. We are all beautiful. It took me a while to see that, but now I am happy with who I am and I am now willing to work to be healthy because I deserve to be healthy and strong and fit. I deserve to have energy and be able to do all the things I want to do.

So, lets just help each other love ourselves. Nothing is more important for so many reasons.  We are all wonderful, beautfiul and deserving of good things.