Another blogger wrote today about people who say negitive things about overweight people, many times disquised as advice.
I do not know why people are so critical of overweight people. It seems to be the last allowed prejudice. Many feel it is okay to tell someone they need to lose weight and tell them they eat too much and do not understand that damage they are doing.
Many overweight people struggle with self esteem. Sometimes caused by the weight and sometimes the self esteem issue causes the weight. Either way, the people that suffer from lack of self esteem have trouble getting incentive to lose weight , the food has for many become t hier comfort and the more uncomfortable with thier body they are, the more they turn to food. It often becomes a vicous cycle .
What I want people to understand that are not overweight and have never been overweight and feel good about themselves. They are often asking someone to fight hard for someone they do not love very much. If you do not think you deserve to be happy, or deserve to be thin, you are not going to be willing to do what it takes to work to get thin. That causes discomfort, and the food which helps you to bury the discomfort is now going to be taken away. This can cause panic and depression in a person who is suffering with this and often is just not sustainable. Think about it this way. If you do not love yourself, and you do not feel deserving, you are not going to be willing to fight to get the things y ou do not feel you deserve. Who is going to fight for someone they sometimes even hate or despise ?
We need to concentrate on why someone does not love themselves and teach them why they are loveable, just the way they are. Fat or thin makes no differance in our worth as a person and if more people who tell the people they love or even just work with and know, how wonderful they and what they admire about them and help them build themselves up, they would want to do the hard work that comes with losing weight. They would start to love them selves and care about themselves and want to fix those things that are not right in thier life, without you telling them too.
Lets be clear. I have never myelf met an overweight person who wanted to be that way.Okay I do know there are some people out there who love being heavy and are happy that way and love themselves heavy , and that is not the issue here. I am talking about those people who do not want to be overweight but just cannot seem to overcome the to them unsurmountable work it takes to get to goal. It is not an easy thing to do.
I have often said when you are over a hundred pounds overweight and starting a diet, it is like trying to go up 100 stairs with one hand and one leg tied behind your back. Scary and seems impossible. But once you are invested emotionally in yourself. You see the beautfiul person that you are, and that fat or thin you are worthy of being loved and cherished and also , you are worthy and deserving of being slim and healthy too. At that point you can see yourself reaching goal, you can see yourself happy and slim and the work does not seem overwelming anymore. That stair case seems less scary . Hard yes, momenets it seems impossible, yes, but you are willing to work through those bad moments because you know that is all they are. Bad moments.
So, if we can just teach our thin friends that they are not helping by saying “constructive ” things , that overweight people know they need to lose weight , and they know they are too heavy and have health risks because of it. Instead they should show thier friends they care. Tell tell them what you admire about them and how much you like them. What their strengths are and how beaufiful they are. Show jthem they matter and that you are glad they are here , fat or thin. Love them unconditionally .
Not many people are willing to fight for someone they do not love or care about, so you are just ingraining that feeling of being unworthy every time you tell a heavy person what they should be doing. It makes them feel like a failure and it is humiliating.
We are all worthy. We are all beautiful. It took me a while to see that, but now I am happy with who I am and I am now willing to work to be healthy because I deserve to be healthy and strong and fit. I deserve to have energy and be able to do all the things I want to do.
So, lets just help each other love ourselves. Nothing is more important for so many reasons. We are all wonderful, beautfiul and deserving of good things.