Learning to love ourselves

Another blogger wrote today about people who say negitive things about overweight people, many times disquised as advice.

I do not know why people are so critical of overweight people. It seems to be the last allowed prejudice.  Many feel it is okay to tell someone they need to lose weight and tell them they eat too much and do not understand that damage they are doing.

Many overweight people struggle with self esteem. Sometimes caused by the weight and sometimes the self esteem issue causes the weight. Either way, the people that suffer from lack of self esteem have trouble getting incentive to lose weight , the food has for many become t hier comfort and the more uncomfortable with thier body they are, the more they turn to food. It often becomes  a vicous cycle .

What I want people to understand that are not overweight and have never been overweight and feel good about themselves. They are often asking someone to fight hard for someone they do not love very much. If you do not think you deserve to be happy, or deserve to be thin,  you are not going to be willing to do what it takes to work  to get thin. That causes discomfort, and the food which helps you to bury the discomfort is now going to be taken away. This can cause panic and depression in a person who is suffering with this and often is just not sustainable. Think about it this way. If you do not love yourself, and  you do not feel deserving, you are not going to be willing to fight to get the things y ou do not feel you deserve. Who is going to fight for someone they sometimes even hate or despise ?

We need to concentrate on why someone does not love themselves and teach them why they are loveable, just the way they are. Fat or thin makes no differance in our worth as a person and if  more people who tell the people they love or even just work with and know, how wonderful they and what they admire about them and help them build themselves up, they would want to do the hard work that comes with losing weight. They would start to love them selves and care about themselves and want to fix those things that are not right in thier life, without you telling them too.

Lets be clear. I have never myelf met an overweight person who wanted to be that way.Okay  I do know there are some people out there who love being  heavy  and are happy that way and love themselves heavy , and that is not the issue here. I am talking about those people who do not want to be overweight but just cannot seem to overcome the to them unsurmountable work it takes to get to goal. It is not an easy thing to do.

I have often said when you are over a hundred pounds overweight and starting a diet, it is like trying to go up 100 stairs with one hand and one leg tied behind your back.  Scary and seems impossible. But once you are invested emotionally in yourself. You see the beautfiul person that you are, and that fat or thin  you are worthy of being loved and cherished and also , you are worthy and deserving of being slim and healthy too. At that point you can see yourself reaching goal, you can see yourself happy and slim and the work does not seem overwelming anymore. That stair case seems less scary .  Hard yes, momenets it seems impossible, yes, but you are willing to work through those bad moments because you know that is all they are. Bad moments.

So, if we can just teach our thin friends that they are not helping by saying “constructive ” things , that overweight people  know they  need to lose weight , and they  know they  are too heavy and have health risks because of it.  Instead they should show thier friends they care.  Tell tell them  what  you admire about them and how much you like them. What their strengths are and how beaufiful they are.  Show jthem they  matter and that you are glad they  are here , fat or thin. Love them  unconditionally .

Not many people are willing to fight for someone they do not love or care about, so you are just ingraining that feeling of being unworthy every time  you tell a heavy person what they should be doing. It makes them feel like a failure and it is humiliating.

We are all worthy. We are all beautiful. It took me a while to see that, but now I am happy with who I am and I am now willing to work to be healthy because I deserve to be healthy and strong and fit. I deserve to have energy and be able to do all the things I want to do.

So, lets just help each other love ourselves. Nothing is more important for so many reasons.  We are all wonderful, beautfiul and deserving of good things.

2 responses to “Learning to love ourselves”

  1. Good news positive thinking and sound planning can affect positive change and I know that you can do it. I glad that you’re seriously going to tackle the weight issue. Motivation is key, and you have to have a motivation to be successful which I have never had until I got diabetes. Diabetes is the driving force behind my weight loss and in many ways having this disease has improved my health which in itself is a strange comment but spot on.

    I am with you that we large folk are the most picked on group in the world. Every comedian has a demeaning fat joke, try that with just about any other demographic and they would be chastised. I have been heavy all my life so I am use to the jokes at my expense and have leaned to deal with it however that not to say it does hurt. I have come to realize in the pecking order of the world that people look for anything to minimize other person as to reassure their own insincerities.

    Good luck I believe that you can achieve your goals and I will try to encourage, help and motivate you as best that I can. Some people describe having diabetes as a journey and this analogy works for me. As with any journey there will be time that you travel fast and at other time you will slow to a stop. At times you will know exactly where you are at, and at other times that you may wonder a bit off track and become lost. I like to think of my journey, of which I have only just started, with the end not so much the goal as enjoying the places and experiences you go through. Don’t look at your weight loss as a burden but as an adventure.

    I am going to try to become more active in posting meal plans and recipes that have a low glycemic index. As you know Sharon has spent countless hours researching information and diet plans and has had to learn to cook all over again as the food and ingredients are completely different than what we are used to using. One huge thing that we have done is that we are only eating the foods that suit our taste both in flavor and textures and we are not forcing ourselves to eat stuff we really don’t like just because it diet or low cal.

    Sorry this is a bit rambling I am writing between phone calls and customers.

    My current Status – Living proof that positive thinking can affect positive change

    Today is day 218 post diagnosis and it is a great day – I have lost 78 pounds (92 to go) and my blood sugar is completely stable my 30 day average test range is at 95. My A1C is at 5.4 as of last December which is considered normal -which does not mean I don’t have diabetes anymore (as there is no cure) but it does mean that my diabetes is in full remission. My Doctor has said that he has had only a hand full of patients that have been able to reverse their diabetes of which he has now counted me as one. I am still on oral medication and hope to wean myself off of it in the near future. I am walking currently 2 miles per day and I am threatening to go back to the gym however I fighting myself on this issue however. – I have lost 12 inches in my waist and I am fitting into cloths which I have not fit in for over 6 years. My current goal is to lose 8 pounds a month and I am currently ahead that goal.

    Check out Living Strong it is a great web site and has an exercise and calorie counter and The American Diabetes Association.

    Good luck your brother in the fight to find a cure.

    1. Thanks Stewert !! You are doing so great !! Sharon is a font of dietary knowlegde and I have been asking her for a lot of help lately and she is very happy to share what she has learned with me !! I sure appreciate it !!
      I wish , like you, I had taken myself to task right when I was diagnoised with the diabetes, which the endrocrinologist said was really prediabetes. I think I just stayed in denial a very long time and now I realize I have no more time to waste. I have to take care of this now, before it is diabetes and is even harder to control.
      My home fasting blood sugar has been 95 and 96 this week, and what shocked me, is the first one a few days ago at 95 was while I was still eating pretty bad.Today was 96 but I have been watching what I eat and eating much better. THe highest fasting at home I ever had was 126 but I average around 104 to 111, and the highest glucose from teh doctors labs was 99 the last time.THey forgot to do an A So,C so I have no idea what that was the end of last year. If I work hard now and get the weight off and excercise, I have a shot to get rid of it before it is really bad.
      I think you guys are smart to find foods you love and make them work in your diet. David and I struggle so much with the boring food and I am afraid I am not near as creative a cook as Sharon has always been. I have to learn some new things and get more creative so we can stick witih a plan and get this weight off once and for all.
      I am very proud of how well you and Sharon are doing and how quickly you got on board with your diagnosis . YOu have come so far and what a great A1 C . I go in again in a few months and plan to get mine down. It was at 6.7 I believe last time,over a year ago, might have been 6.5, so I can nip it in the bud if I get really moving.
      My friend Laurie and I are going to start walking a mile at least five days a week, starting on MOnday. I am very excited about that !! So, the changes are starting, slowly but surely. I do not want to crash and burn so I am working hard to do this in steps. Parden the pun, lol !!
      Your support means a lot and I want to learn more about what you have been doing because I am a firm believer that you find someone who has done what you want to do, and do that. Learn from thier success to get to your success. I have been so impressed with the recipes Sharon has told me about !!
      I am sorry you have been the butt of jokes, and mean comments. Being a thin child and not really gaining until we had our kids, I have not head to really deal with that. I have only one really mean comment from a cousin of Davids that I can really remember.
      That would be awesome if you posted recipes , I would love that !! YOu can find them in books, but you never know if they are good. If someone you know tries and likes them, that is so much better !!
      I will check out Living Strong. I am on Spark People right now and it is a pretty neat site too !! Lots of resources and great support !!
      I do love the journey anology and have used it myself many times. It really is a journey and you are right that I need to enjoy the journey, not concentrate on the end of it. It is going to be a journey that takes some time so if I do not enjoy it, it will make for a longer more difficult one. Might as well embrace it and enjoy each step and celebreate each milestone.
      Thanks again, your post meant a lot me !! I look foward to sharing this journey with you and learning from your successes !!

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