I was given something to think about today while watching The View. I had never really thought a lot about it , but something said by John Ramsey made me think. After losing his six year old daughter Jon Boni fifteen years ago, and then his wife seven years ago , he was asked if he still had the good years ahead of him.
Wow, what a thing to ask yourself !! Are the good years still ahead of me ?
When we are young we have so much to look forward to. Getting through grammer school, going to middle school, and then going to high school. Your first date, learning to drive, getting your license, getting a car, getting your first job, graduating high school. Possibly going to college and then graduating. Meeting the right person, gettting engaged, getting married, buying a house, having your babies, moving up in your career , all this is ahead of you.
One day you wake up. Your kids are grown. You may even own a house. You may even have grandkids. What is left to look forward to ? Are the best days behind you at that point ? Especially for us stay at home moms who never pursued a career. What in the heck is left to look forward to as a personal goal now ? Haven’t we reached all the miles stones we get in life ?
I had thought some about that. Obviously that is why I started this blog. But never in those terms. Are the best years ahead of me, or behind me ? I think it really depends on you.
If you think, okay, thats it. I am done, there is nothing left to look forward to in my life. Just exist until I die, then that is probably what will happen and you might not live a very long full life.Or it might seem very long because you are so unfullfilled and bored stupid.
But if you say, okay. The obvious milestones have been met, but I am going to find new ones and find out who I am and what I want now that I have finished my very important work of raising my kids, that will give you a completely differant perspective and therefore a differant view of life.
There is no obvious physical differance between people with those two seperate attitudes, both start from the same place, butonce that question is answered the spiritual, mental and physical life of those two people are completely differant based on how they answer it.
If you believe with all your heart you can set new milestones and build a new life then you can do that.
Go back to school, start a new career. If you have never worked, get a job you enjoy or start a business of your own.
What do you love to do ? What excites you ? That is where we need to start.
I am so excited now that I heard John Ramsey say that today. Now I know what I need to do.
I need to set goals for myself so I can build a wonderful future for myself.
Now, many people will say, what about my spouse ? Where do they fit in to this ? Well, they do and they don’t. They do in that they are your spouse and the most important person in your life and what you do impacts them. But they cannot be responsible for your happiness and you cannot be responsible for thiers. But, if you are in a great relationship , if you find what makes you really happy, it cannot help but make your relationship happier too. Maybe it will inspire them to find what they want to do as well.
I am blessed to have a husband who encourages me to try new things and always supports my efforts and I do the same for him. I cannot wait to have this discussion with him but unfortunately he is in bed sick , and sound asleep !! I think it is a wonderful discussion for everyone to have with thier partners or spouse, or friends or both .
Now it will not be easy. It will take work. But at least we know WHY we are doing it. I want to have an exciting and fun life and be able to enjoy the many years ahead of me now that our kids are grown and out on thier own. It is our time to explore our relationship as well, and really build a new one. We are not Mommy and Daddy anymore, but Mom and Dad and Grandma and Grandpa. We can now , for the first time ever in 30 years, put ourselves first !! How wonderful !!
But while my husband has a job and skills he has built over these past 3o years, I have been home with our kids and grandkids. So, now I have to step out of my safe little box and find out what I want to do. I have to really figure out what it is I am passionate about, what I can see myself doing for the next half of my life and what I can build my new goals around.Yes, I did say the next half of my life. I am only 51 and only consider myself only half way through my life , and it will be a great second half !!
It will not be an overnight thing. I will have to dig and explore and figure it out. But now I do know I want to have the best years ahead of me, which means they will be pretty damn good. I have had a great life so far. Amazing husband, wonderful kids who have given us wonderful families to love in our in law kids and grand kids.
The bar has been set pretty high, but I am worth it and life is worth it. I want to be busy and happy and fullfilled each day. I want to get out of bed excited about my day and looking foward to what I am going to try today.
So, if you want it, the best is yet to be, and you can have the life of your dreams, it is NOT all over for you. You just have to want it bad enough !!! If you believe in yourself, you can make the second half even better then the first !! It is all up to you !!!!