I am , and always have been, and always will be a work in progress. Sometimes I wish my progress would go a bit faster, but such is personal development and growth.
A YouTube creator I enjoy watching blogged today that she is walking away from her channel and Patreon to be happy. She actually makes money from both of them and realized the money was not worth all the negatives. I think it takes a brave and instinctive person to walk away from sources of income, absolutely certain they are doing the right thing. As much as I will miss her content, I think she is smart to put her focus on what is important to her, and those things take time away from her husband, kids, home and pets, and that is just not acceptable to her any longer.
I have struggled with my channel for a while now. I do not make money on it, and probably will . Oh, maybe if I am willing to put in hours of work a week to get out many videos I could grow it a bit, maybe make a few bucks, but like the above mentioned creator, it is not worth it to me. Not that channel at least. I had a vision of what I wanted to create and what I have is not it. I have lovely subscribers and I will not close up the channel at this point. But, I have made the decision that I will not push myself anymore to do more than I feel I can do. If I do a video a week, a video twice a week, a video a month, than that is what I will do. On the other hand, if I feel like doing three videos one week, I will do that. I will only do what makes me happy and if the day comes I am unhappy with the channel I will walk away . Right now, I do enjoy it on my own terms. That is how I will keep it.
I have missed blogging. that was my true joy. I know in my heart I am a writer first, than an artist,and after that a crafter/ maker. Words are my favorite way to craft, but once we had kids, it got harder to find the quiet and peace to create with words and that is when I started crocheting, making jewelry and then slowly started working with the seed beads, sequins and felt. I found it relaxing and enjoyable to create in these ways when time for words was just not available. We did not have computers back then, we finally got our first computer when our oldest child was 16.That was 1996. We still had three other kids , 13, 11, and 7 years old along with the 16 year old at home. Life was extremely busy at that time. Blogging was not really heard of at that time. I believe I finally started my blogging , this blog in fact, around 2008 or so.Well after our kids were grown and we had moved from California to Texas. I have a few different blogs and I have always loved it, but again, time , and family, and just life , got in my way and I went back into jewelry and making stuff. Unfortunately being a bit unhappy at times, love my life, just unhappy with myself and weight, and goals unreached and different things, I found I collected supplies more than I crafted or created. Now I am faced with a mountain of stuff to rehome . I want to sell it all to put the money I spent on it in the bank for our future. I am a bit overwelmed but as a friend reminded me, time is flying by, so I had better get started now so I can reach some goals I want to reach. I cannot afford to sit around and wring my hands and wonder where to start. I just have to jump in and get going . I have an Etsy shop, I have an Ebay shop. Both I have sold on for many years.
With everything going on in the world, life is a bit weird and uncertain right now. Things we used to do for fun, we really can’t, or are uncomfortable doing, ie, yard sales, thrift shops, antique shops, flea markets, are all either unavailable, or just not something we are comfortable doing any more. No Hobby Lobby, Michaels, and so on either. Just walking leisurely through a grocery store is not an option any longer. We do curbside pick up or get in and get out. I know there are people on both sides, but I am on the side of caution. So, this is life right now. I am finding I am okay with it. Looking forward to normal again, but also aware we may actual enter a new normal and things may never go back to where they were before.
There is a lot of beauty and wonder being at home. Being appreciative of what you have and enjoying your home and time together. My husband and I have always been each others best friend as well as spouses so we get along really well and other than normal small spats from time to time , usually when one or both of us are tired, we live a pretty happy, peaceful and very good life. BUT, clutter is our biggest issue. We need to purge and clean out and just sell all the stuff that is not bringing any joy or happiness into our lives. All those years of yard sales and so on, we found amazing things, but never learned the art of bringing in, and letting something else go.
So, now I sit in a room , my studio , and look around at so much stuff I have ,some of it in our main hallway. That is crazy. So purge I must and just let go of most of it unless I truely love it and want to use it. I can say about 80 percent of this room can go based on that criteria !!! That is my goal.
Balance has never been a talent of mine. It is something I need to work on. Right now I have about three loads of laundry to get done, a kitchen that needs about an hour of work to get spotless, need to detail our master bath but I do keep it in pretty good shape overall. We need to purge our bedroom, it is ridiculous how much stuff we have piled in one corner, it has to go. Some just has to be put away, probably most falls under that category, but some needs to go.
Still, I came in here to write. Just reading the blog from the YouTube creator this morning that is walking away from her channel and patreon made me really think about what I love to do. I need to do more of that. So, here I am .
I have no answers to share. I can just share the journey. So, here we go.
Thanks for stopping by !!
Stephie
Timetobeme's Blog 
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