Timetobeme's Blog

I am feeling a bit tired and wishing things would go faster. I am sure it is normal and it does not mean I am about to give up as that is not an option. I just wish I could see more results. I have so much weight to lose that somedays it is just harder than others when I do not see any differance in myself.

My husband, being a man, lol, is losing fast and he looks a lot differant, which is great and I am thrilled he is doing well, but it makes it that much harder for me on days like t his.

I am still at 227 and hoping to go down again soon.

I am also getting close to my tom and that makes emotions a bit over the top too, and my allergies have been the worst ever.

But I will keep on, I really do not have any other option right now. I know I will be fine in a day or two, I just have to get through these days that get to me. There is nothign anyone can say or do, in fact if anyone tried to say or do anything it would probably just annoy me, lol, I just have to get through it. It is my own battle and my own struggle and I will be fine when this frustration passes , and it always does. It is not the first time, nor will it be the last time I feel like this.

When you start out as I did, having to lose over half of my body weight, it makes it very hard. A normal person just fifty pounds or so overweight, losing 23 pounds would be noticing a big differance and feeling like they have made progress. For me , at 227 , I still have over a hundred pounds to lose, so that makes it a bit hard.

I have given up a lot of stuff I loved, and I am generally okay with it, but I am only human and some days it gets tough.

Like I said, I am not looking for sympathy and  do not want any, I just want to vent. That is why I am writing it here so I do not have to deal with talking about it, which won’t help, lol. When I am feeling like this, the last thing I want to do is talk about it, but this site gives me a place to vent and get it out and then one day I can look back at it and see how I made it past. I am just trying to keep it real. I feel what I feel and that is that.

So, tomorrow will be better and if not, it will be soon. I will just keep going and will see more progress and one day I will start to really see the differance and feel like I am getting somewhere. I have been doing this for over two months, so I think it is normal to have a bit of a discouraging day that far in .

Please just understand that I am fine, I am just having a pms day and I do not want any big deals made out of my mood, I just want to be in my mood for today and get through it. But I started this blog so I could be honest and this is just my honesty for today. Tomorrows will probably be much differant.

I have eaten great today and have no desire of plan to eat off program, just venting and getting it all off my chest.

I am just having  a grumpy pms type day.  Luckily it is a Sunday and no one calls me on Sunday and that is for the best, I am not in a talkative mood and that is why I came  here to talk it out, without talking , lol !!

I will be back to post calories and water and all that later.

It is almost seven and I had an unconventional dinner but I think it was a good one and I was able to feel like I was doing something bad, but I didn’t !!

I had two whole sprouted grain English muffins with a tablespoon each of whipped cream cheese and a tablespoon each of all fruit strawberry jam on each half, so a total of four tablespoons of each of cream cheese and jam .Keep in mind for the cream cheese a serving is two table spoons so I had two servings of it but four of the jam.  It was 12 grams of fiber,  and 20 grams of protien and the sugar free all fruit jam gave me the sweet I needed for pms but cheat free.

My calories for the entire day sit at 1525. If I chose to have may allowed serving of 65 percent cocoa chocolate, it will take it up to 1745 so I may allow that later, it will  be a bit higher than I like, but that is okay considering my mood and past behavior on a diet on  a day that I am struggling.

For breakfast I had a bowl of shredded wheat and bran with a half cup of fresh blueberries adn organic non fat milk

for lunch I had whole wheat penne pasta with veggies and canned salt free tomatos and a tablespoon of grated parm cheese  and five ounces of shrimp.

My fiber for the day is 31 grams, so that is great !! I am very pleased with that  and if I keep that up, I should regulate myself much better, which is always a good thing to do !!

I am half way through liter number t hree so I should have no problem with the four liters as it is not even seven yet.

I will check back one final time if I change anything other than having or not having the chocolate, which I probably will have.

I am back at eleven pm and I did have the chocolate at nine and enjoyed it and it is just enough sweet to make me happy. My unusual dinner kept me full and helped me to feel ike I was having a treat without cheating on my plan.

I feel pretty good now and should be back to normal tomororw with my mood. I just woke up in a bit of a funk and then aol gave me a ton of trouble and a couple of other things irritated me in my day and then I was in a funk. I am fine now and my mood is back to normal. 

I am looking forward to seeing the scale move soon and seeing 225 any day now.