Day 4

I know I have not posted in a day and never finished Saturday but I have not fallen off the wagon at all. I had some stuff to take care of and decided to not post about it until today .  I got up to 251 today but for good cause and if you do not like reading about personal stuff like medical stuff, do not read any further, lol !!I did make an interesting discovery which I am thrilled with !!

I  had to do a fast on Sunday for my year overdue first colonoscopy which I had today. Yesterday was not a fun day and I had to basicly not eat anything and use laxitives which were not fun at all. Overall it was not a horrrible day. I made sure to eat light on Sat which helped. I got through yesterday and my test today and I am in perfect health and need not have another test for ten years. I am thrilled !! Now the thing that I discovered which is amazing and fairly exciting to me, is while fasting I of course could not eat any normal food. And all of the allergy symptoms I had been having which had been almost unbearable pretty much  disapeared .  Coughing, and again, too much info for most, but after four kids no kegals, so coughing is not a pleasant thing for me to go through. I am working on it, but the coughing really derailed me.  I have wondered for a long time if I am sensitive to wheat and or dairy but never really acted on it. I got up Sunday, did not eat them and by noon I happened to notice I had not coughed all day. I still took a benedryl to make sure, but by nine no more coughing but since I had to get sleep for my test, I took one anyway at midnight, and  woke up today and no coughing. None. I could not drink cold drinks, they made me cough , I could not have the air on in the room I was in as cold air made me cough so I had to keep the vent in our room closed . I had some coughing fits in the last week where I could not stop. I had discovered taking one benedryl every two hours took care of it, and I did go to the doctor and make sure taking a bendryl every two hours is okay,  so those episodes stopped,  but that had its own problems, sleepiness and feeling so thirsty from it dehydrating me.  So, today after my test I decided to not eat any dairy or wheat for a few weeks and see w hat happens. So far today, can drink cold drinks, can sit under the air conditioning vent and no coughing. I had never had coughing with allergies before, so it was a very weird thing anyway.  But after over a month of miserable coughing and some other allergy symptoms, I am feeling great benedryl free.  I am sorry I had to share my reasons for finding out, but it is a fact and what I had to go through and something we all have to do at 50.  I am hoping this change with the allergies continues and cutting out the food is the solution.

I know the scale today was not completely accurate as I had not eaten in a day, but I am hoping it does not go up much and I can get it in the forties in the next week or two. I am determined to get my weight down . This week I really saw myself for the first time , and truely saw how much I have to lose. It is a bit discouraging but I will get it off. If there are foods bothering my system, cutting them out will help I am sure. If I was wrong and that is not the issue, then I wlll cross that bridge when I come to it, but so far, feeling much better !! It is still allergy season so a bit of symptoms would be normal, but the amount I was having was way worse then I have ever had and I had been told it is just a bad allergy season, but to have it  all but stop suddenly after not eating, that makes me think there might be more to it. I still have a bit of allergy stuff but nothing big and we will see how the cough goes. I have had a tiny little cough here and there but the cough I have had the last six weeks is gone. I will not mind having to take a benedryl or two a day like a normal allergy season, it was the every two hours that wore me out !!

So I had a banana when we got home from the hospital and then  for lunch we went to Logans and I had a piece of grilled salmon, a skewer of grilled veggies a salad with no croutons or cheese on it with olive oil and vinegar , and no rolls with our meal and also had a sweeet potato no butter, cin sugar on the side and put a bit on. It was a healthy and really delicious meal with no wheat or dairy. I will admit I did have a handful of peanuts, who can resist eating them and throwing the shells on the floor, too much fun !!!

For dinner we are mixing black beans, brown rice, corn, mild rotel and some extra lean ground beef  and then David will have some cheese and sour cream but I will not, I will have some guacamole on it though. So, that is today. Will figure out tomorrow before I go to bed. Not leaving things up in the air anymore, but will have a plan for the next day before bed each  night.  I want to eat healthy and not only lose weight but  make sure I do not eat anything that bothers my system, I do not want to go back to that nightmare again.

So, that is what I have been up to this weekend !!  I am happy to start the new week with the medical stuff done. I was a bit anxious about it all and stressed so having that done makes me feel so much better !!

I am looking forward to a great week and seeing where this food experiment takes me.  It will be a challenge but one I am up too. 

No excercise to post today, I am taking it easy, I am bit wiped out from the last two days and they told me to rest today. Tomorrow I will be walking again.  I am bound and determined to get active and get this weight off !!

Day 2

I had to have been a bit bloated yesterday, today my weight is down to 254.5, still way too high, but at last a bit better !!

It is a bit crazy around here today.  My daughter and her hubby and family live with us and they found fleas on thier cats so they have been hard at work to get rid of them. I did not eat much of a breakfast, I ate  two of those prepackaged string cheese things.

Lunch I had two slices of ww bread and a serving of mayo, which is two tablespoons and a small can of tuna in water and a handful of baked lays potato chips .

I will add more through the day as I eat. I Have had a liter of water and a half liter of cyrstal light raspberry ice and a half a litter of crystal lite peach and mago tea.

Starting fresh today

Okay, day one and starting fresh, no more excuses.

Got up and weighed myself, not a good number, but it is what it is and it is my job to change it. My weight this morning is 257. that is my highest number yet and terrifies me because if I am that high, where could it go next. I used to think 240 was my highest, so it is very motivating. I do not want to hit 260.

I think I can say I am not prediabetic . My fasting blood sugar has remained well under 100 for weeks  without meds, today it was 84. I am thrilled with that number . I take cinnamon with chromium twice a day and walk every day at least a bit and if I do those two things, normal blood sugar. Now I have to get the weight off to  make s ure I never do get diabetes.

My goal today is 1200 calories.  Keep the fat down to about 20 to 30 grams and get plenty of fiber through whole grains, fruits and veggies. I plan to get as close to a gallon of water as I can and  choose healthy meals. My goal is to get at least 20 to 30 minutes of walking in as well.

I will p ost my meals here end of the day and will keep track of all my progress on this blog.

So, off to start day one, I am very relieved and excited to be starting my weight loss journey.

OKay, I am editing this through the day to put in my  meals.

Breakfast was a bowl of old fashioned oats I cooked with a bit of raisins in it and then added a small spoonful of spenda brown sugar. You need very little for a good flavor and then a splash of milk.

lunch David and I split a roasted chicken breast sandwhich from Subway. I got no cheese and only the piece of chicken breast, lettuce, tomato and lots of red onions with a splash of  red wine vinigar, NO dressings otherwise and we  had some baked lays , the plain kind with it.  I will post later with dinner .

I had dinner fairly early and due to allergies and being tired I made myself a sandwich with whole wheat bread, natural peanut butter and all fruit  blue berry jelly,and that was all I ate, and no snacks all night.

For snacks during the day  I had a bowl of red grapes and a banana and some raw broc, califlower and carrots with very minimal Italian dressing, just dipped the tip in and did not use much.

Excercise wise I walked twice for 15 minutes each time.

Standing in the truth !!

I am a big Suze Orman fan and even though she is talking about finances when she says it,  I want to stand in my truth.

In asking others to join me here, I want to be honest with my current weight and goals and keep track of my progress here.

I am 51 years old,  a mom to four, grandma to seven and have been overweight since our second child, adding to that weight each of the pregnancies.

My weight at the doctors office today was a scary 257. I am not proud of that number. Before I got pregnant with our first child I weighed 118 pounds. I was not a stick at that point either. I had a bit of weight on me. But I am willing to shoot a bit higher but still fairly low at 125 which means I need to lose a bit over half my body weight. The doctors office gave me a sheet stating my bmi is 44.97 as of today. Yikes !! I am almost half fat, that is so sad !!

I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am sad, bored, happy, angry , frustrated , you name it, I will eat in that moment . I am an impulsive eater and usually not lazy. I have no problem making something from scratch if I want it bad enough.

I have been diagnoised with prediabetes but with taking cinnamon supliments twice a day and walking at least once a day I have kept my blood sugar well below 100 without meds and that is something I am very happy about.

I do have elevated blood pressure , today it was 134/92 and my cholesterol last time it was taken , end of last year was 240 , I cannot remember the break down but only my LDL was bad, my HDL and triglerides were good.  For that reason only I was not put on meds.

I have what is called metoblic syndrome. I have a  good deal of weight in my belly, and it is out of proportion to the rest of me. I am fat all over, of course. You cannot be 127 pounds overweight and not be fat everywhere, but my stomach is way out of proportion to the rest of my body. Once I get some of that belly fat gone, I should see my numbers all come down. The belly fat from how it was told to me by the endrocrinologist , is alive and releases hormones that cause trouble with your blood sugar and causes the higher numbers on the blood pressure and cholesterol. Having a fat behind is much healther as that fat does not do that, only belly fat  has the ability to trash your health that way. So, I have got to get about 50 pounds off to see some differances I would think. Only the last twenty to thirty pounds seemed to cause me the trouble but I am going to work very hard to get this frist 5o off this next year. Unlike those contestants on The Biggest Loser, one of my husbands and my favorate shows, it will not come out in huge losses every week not having a Bob Harper and gym at my beck and call !!!  If I can lose one to 2 pounds a week the next year, I will be very happy.

I plan to be very transparent here. I will post my weights and any test results when I go to the doctor. I wil talk about how I did each day, did I eat well, or cheat, how much excercise did I get and so on. I would love others to jump in every day to share thier progress and maybe we can really encourage each other to get where we each want to be !! 

So, day one officially starts tomorrow, I ate pretty good today but not as perfect as I plan to, so tomorrow night I will post my progress and maybe even post through the day. I am very excited and hope to meet many other people trying to lose, so please introduce yourself and share what you are comfortable sharing here !! 

We can do it !!! 

Stephie

No more excuses !!!

Today I got up and decided no more excuses. I am tired of being heavy and not feeling my best because of it !!

I want to get fit and have energy and between my weight and the benedryl I am taking for my really awful allergies this year, I am just tired all the time.

I would love to move in two months and be on my way to a fitter body. It would be nice to lose some weight before we move. I have to get used to going up and down a staircase as we will be on the second floor !! 

Biggest Loser this year has a theme of no excuses and I think it is a good one. So, that is the  mantra I am going to use from now on. No excuses !!  I want to feel great and look nice and feel comfortable in my own body and being this heavy it is impossible to feel comfortable .

So, I decided last night that when I got up today I was going to get going. I want to watch how much I eat, aim for 1200 calories a day and try to get at least 30 minutes of excercise a day.

I am dreading the doctor today, the scale, they will take my blood pressure and all that stuff and I am not looking forward to it. I have got to get the weight off to prevent health issues, namely diabetes and heart disease, my stomach weight makes me a huge candidate for those and I have the start of rising blood sugar and cholesterol and blood pressure caused by, I am told metabolic syndrome. So far I am avoiding taking all kinds of meds but it is inevitable if I do not get this weight off and get active.

So, today is day one and I am hoping in the next two months before I move I can work hard and see some signifacant changes in my body and how I feel.

I have to learn patience , that is a big one and my ADD I have had since childhood makes me more impulsive about eating and I will have to firmly combat that as well. Wanting something and eating it have to be two differant things. I tend to want, and then have whatever I want. 

I will keep track here how I do and anyone else trying to lose weight, I would love to  hear your stories. I am always inspired by others successes !!

So, I am on my way to a healthier me , one day at a time, no more excuses !! I deserve to be fit and feel good and I am going to work hard to make it happen !!!

I am still doing a lot of thinking about the future and what I want to do with myself now that my job is over. I have raised my kids and now they are all on thier own. I need to find a new focus.

For the last two and a half years our daughter and her family have lived with us . They joined us in Texas from Calif when our son in law lost his job in the housing industry. It took them a while with this economy but they both finally have jobs they can build a future on and we are moving out of our own house  mid June to let them rent it from us and we are getting a wonderful apartment to start the next chapter in. It is very exciting.

Now I need to figure out what I want to do next.  I have been working on jewelry for the better part of 20 plus years and although I feel I make lovely items and they seem well recieved, my sales are really only to my wonderful family and friends.  I appreciate them all so much, but it has become crystal clear that I have not found a way to create an income from my work and it is getting to be increasingly frustrating.

I am not sure I can continue to beat my head against the wall any longer. I see others selling thier jewelry hand over fist and making an actual living, but for some reason, I just am not enjoying that kind of success. After 20 years, I think I need to make it a hobby and leave it at that.  Enough is enough and my passion for beads and jewelry is obviously  not enough to overcome my lack of ability to find a successful venue to sell my pieces.  I  think if I had a creative partner to get together with and share the expenses I could branch out to some craft fairs and give that a try, but no matter how hard I have tried, no luck.  I have met people time and again who seem to have that same desire to find a craft partnere, give them my card, and never hear a thing back from them.

I just think maybe I am being shown over and over, this is not what I am supposed to be doing.

I love to write. I used to love to draw. Once we had our four kids, I lost the time for those pursuits and that is when the jewelry came into my life. Jewelry you can create with kids running and screaming around you. No big huge concentration is needed. At least not for me, maybe some people need quiet, but I do not . I always have the tv on , or I am on a phone call when I create my jewelry .

I am thinking once we are in the apartment I will start working on my writing and drawing skills again. When I look at what I drew in my teens and young twenties it is discouraging to see how much I have lost.  Drawing is something I have to concentrate on. I need to focus and think.  I will have that quiet time to draw once we move.

I think at some point you have to figure the universe is telling you something. Maybe jewelry  is just not what I am supposed to be doing. Not my life work, not my calling. I am okay with it. I have kind of been feeling this way for a while.  Jewelry is not the thing I came here to this life to do. I have always been an artist, jewelry just has been my most recent medium to work with.

I am looking forward to this great adventure we are starting in June. I am so excited. I am trying to figure out what to do. Do I set up a studio or do I pack up the beads and put the boxes in the guest room closet or storage closet and forget them for a while ? I just do not know.

Sometimes when you have been trying something for a long time, it is not so fun anymore. I am still just as able to create, and I do enjoy making pieces, especially custom orders but for the most part, when you c reate to sell the fun goes out and the frustration comes in !!

The only thing I do know for absolutely sure is that I want my future to be even more fun and creative and exciting than my past has been !! I have shared my life with my wonderful husband for over 30 years and our kids  have been such a blessing. It has been fun and never boring, and I want to have a fun and interesting next half of my life too !!

I am going to be 52 in June. That is still very  young. I used to think I would be old at 50, but if my eyes are closed, I feel much younger. When I cannot see the weight I put on , it does not affect me, only when I am looking do I see the weight that has been a bit of an albatrose around my neck.

Oprah once said her fat was like mud in her wings and I can relate to that. I think I need to work on getting rid of the extra weight  and see where that takes me.

I am learning that finding yourself. working on being who you came here to be, is not easy work.  It is really hard. It is not exciting all the time, but can be very boring and tedious to find what you are supposed to do.

I wish the answer was there for me to read, but it is not !! It is a deep hard excavation that we have to do. Removing those rocks and dirt a bit of a time and using that little brush to gently move things out of our way so we can see underneath the facade we have created !! I know something great is there, I know it will be fun and creative and fullfilling. I also know I have some more digging to get to it.  

So, for now I am packing and  figuring out what to take, lend the kids, or sell. Lots of hard work. we want to lighten the load and start fresh without so much stuff !!

Life is meant to be lived to the fullest and that is what I want to do.   I want to enjoy the journey too, not just what the journey shows me. The journey could be quite long, it could be quite short, but the journey will teach me about myself and that is very important !!