I have been bad the last two days. I have stayed in the basic guidelines of my plan, but ate too much and finished off the chocolate our youngest daughter got me. I am very pms’y and it shows, lol !!

I had around 1900 calories today, which is more than I should have had, but still way under what I was eating to get fat.  I am done with the candy now and will not pick up any more, and did not buy this to begin with, lol,  so I should start seeing the scale move again. I can tell I am still shrinking as things are looser when I put them on and I can just feel that I am smaller.

So, I have been somewhat bad, but I am fine with it. this is about life changes and being bad sometimes is just how it is. lol. I have no plans to continue my bad behavior and I plan to work very hard to get back on track, but I had a few days of being a bit lazy and having what I wanted, again, within the boundries of my plan. whole grains, low fat and low sugar. The chocolate is dark chocolate and the timing was perfect , just when I was dealing with the tom cravings and symptoms  it showed up, lol. Now it is gone, and I will not buy any more for a while, and if by some chance, I get some more as a gift, I will have to put it in the freezer, or have my husband hide it, lol !!

So, no more bad behavior for a while. I think you sometimes have to be bad and enjoy what you miss within reason or you will lose your mind and get off track completely. This is how I plan to live, watching the calories and fat and sugar so if once ina  while I let loose for a couple of days, that is fine as long as I turn it back around right away.

I will get up tomorrow with a commitment of behaving and eating what I should, not what I want to eat !!

One day at a time, that is all I can do !!

I am about to start liter three of water for today, so I will get in three total liters for sure, so that is great !!

Woke up to 229 but ate late last night so I was not surprised. I also woke up to that time of the month, so that probably also played a hand in the scale being up two pounds.

I ate a few things I should not  have today, but still kept the calories on the higher end of  my allowed amount , but I just needed my chocolate and my wonderful youngest daughter brought me a dark chocolate bar with roasted almonds and I ate it all, lol. Bad girl, lol !! I decided since I have been on this plan for almost ten weeks and have been very good, a few bumps this week is fine. On some plans I know they have you take a break for a week and I am not doing that, but ate a bit bad but still overall did okay for today other than the chocolate bar !!! I will get my act together, and do not have any plans to change  my diet from the course I have been on this ten weeks , I have too many health goals to make, weight loss, normal cholesterol and blood sugar and healthy gall bladder. I am not messing around with any of that. So, even when I have a ” bad ” day, it is not that bad because I still stay within the boundaries I am allowed, I jsut eat a bit more then I should. I allow myself one serving of the choc bar every day, but ate all three today. Luckily I ate ie early enough that I will be up at least five hours after I ate it. I will not do that again, but I do not regret doing it. This is a life change, not a temp. diet, so sometimes I am going to let loose for a meal or even a day, but that will be the extent of it. There are certain lines I will not cross, ie, a hamburger, a hotdog, grilled cheese and so on. I did have some homemade crunchy tacos but we drained the meat well and the taco shells were very small but that was my only bad meal. My breakfast was the high fiber healthy oatmeal with sweet and low instead of sugar, and lunch was a can of black beans with some low fat cheese and fresh onion in it. Dinner was the tacos and some green leaf lettuce and tomato and onion on the crunchy taco shells and ground beef. I will not be eating any more of it. My gall bladder did not get mad about it so I think the fat was not too bad, and I am very careful to not push it and cause myself pain.

So, I am hoping to see the scale back at the 227 and then lower than that soon. I will get moving on it and really watch the calories so I can see some good progress soon  !!

I am on my second liter of water and will finish it and had a lot of diet caff free soda with a lot of ice in it today.

Looking forward to a good day tomorrow !!

I am feeling a bit tired and wishing things would go faster. I am sure it is normal and it does not mean I am about to give up as that is not an option. I just wish I could see more results. I have so much weight to lose that somedays it is just harder than others when I do not see any differance in myself.

My husband, being a man, lol, is losing fast and he looks a lot differant, which is great and I am thrilled he is doing well, but it makes it that much harder for me on days like t his.

I am still at 227 and hoping to go down again soon.

I am also getting close to my tom and that makes emotions a bit over the top too, and my allergies have been the worst ever.

But I will keep on, I really do not have any other option right now. I know I will be fine in a day or two, I just have to get through these days that get to me. There is nothign anyone can say or do, in fact if anyone tried to say or do anything it would probably just annoy me, lol, I just have to get through it. It is my own battle and my own struggle and I will be fine when this frustration passes , and it always does. It is not the first time, nor will it be the last time I feel like this.

When you start out as I did, having to lose over half of my body weight, it makes it very hard. A normal person just fifty pounds or so overweight, losing 23 pounds would be noticing a big differance and feeling like they have made progress. For me , at 227 , I still have over a hundred pounds to lose, so that makes it a bit hard.

I have given up a lot of stuff I loved, and I am generally okay with it, but I am only human and some days it gets tough.

Like I said, I am not looking for sympathy and  do not want any, I just want to vent. That is why I am writing it here so I do not have to deal with talking about it, which won’t help, lol. When I am feeling like this, the last thing I want to do is talk about it, but this site gives me a place to vent and get it out and then one day I can look back at it and see how I made it past. I am just trying to keep it real. I feel what I feel and that is that.

So, tomorrow will be better and if not, it will be soon. I will just keep going and will see more progress and one day I will start to really see the differance and feel like I am getting somewhere. I have been doing this for over two months, so I think it is normal to have a bit of a discouraging day that far in .

Please just understand that I am fine, I am just having a pms day and I do not want any big deals made out of my mood, I just want to be in my mood for today and get through it. But I started this blog so I could be honest and this is just my honesty for today. Tomorrows will probably be much differant.

I have eaten great today and have no desire of plan to eat off program, just venting and getting it all off my chest.

I am just having  a grumpy pms type day.  Luckily it is a Sunday and no one calls me on Sunday and that is for the best, I am not in a talkative mood and that is why I came  here to talk it out, without talking , lol !!

I will be back to post calories and water and all that later.

It is almost seven and I had an unconventional dinner but I think it was a good one and I was able to feel like I was doing something bad, but I didn’t !!

I had two whole sprouted grain English muffins with a tablespoon each of whipped cream cheese and a tablespoon each of all fruit strawberry jam on each half, so a total of four tablespoons of each of cream cheese and jam .Keep in mind for the cream cheese a serving is two table spoons so I had two servings of it but four of the jam.  It was 12 grams of fiber,  and 20 grams of protien and the sugar free all fruit jam gave me the sweet I needed for pms but cheat free.

My calories for the entire day sit at 1525. If I chose to have may allowed serving of 65 percent cocoa chocolate, it will take it up to 1745 so I may allow that later, it will  be a bit higher than I like, but that is okay considering my mood and past behavior on a diet on  a day that I am struggling.

For breakfast I had a bowl of shredded wheat and bran with a half cup of fresh blueberries adn organic non fat milk

for lunch I had whole wheat penne pasta with veggies and canned salt free tomatos and a tablespoon of grated parm cheese  and five ounces of shrimp.

My fiber for the day is 31 grams, so that is great !! I am very pleased with that  and if I keep that up, I should regulate myself much better, which is always a good thing to do !!

I am half way through liter number t hree so I should have no problem with the four liters as it is not even seven yet.

I will check back one final time if I change anything other than having or not having the chocolate, which I probably will have.

I am back at eleven pm and I did have the chocolate at nine and enjoyed it and it is just enough sweet to make me happy. My unusual dinner kept me full and helped me to feel ike I was having a treat without cheating on my plan.

I feel pretty good now and should be back to normal tomororw with my mood. I just woke up in a bit of a funk and then aol gave me a ton of trouble and a couple of other things irritated me in my day and then I was in a funk. I am fine now and my mood is back to normal. 

I am looking forward to seeing the scale move soon and seeing 225 any day now.

I am working harder on fiber now as IBS has been a challenge for me for over a decade and I am tired of dealing with it. I have got to get that min 25 grams in a day so my body will work the best it can.

I woke up a pound higher today at 228  but I do think it has something to do with the fiber issue. If things are not moving as they should, weight can be slowed, so I have to make a huge point of at least the 25 and aim for more each day.

I hit it hard today and I am already up to 27 grams of fiber and still have some snacks and dinner to eat, so no doubt I can get to over 30 today.

I did great on the fiber, right at 45 grams, so this better get things moving, lol !! I did go a bit high on calories as I had not planned on eating out at dinner when I ate for the day and then last minute went out and had a very healthy dinner with Laurie and we had fun,  but more calories then I had planned for the day,but it is okay, it was around 2000 for the day  but extremely healthy and low fat and very high in fiber so I am okay with that, but will keep it down by the 1500 range tomorrow !!
I did pretty good on the water, I hit three and a half liters, not quite the four, but close enough and I am happy with that. I also had some diet soda too. I put a lot of ice in it as usual.

All in a ll, I think it was a very good day !!

<>Well, I am grateful that I got up today at eight and weighed myself and I had not gained an ounce from yesterday despite my big opps at dinner. I got up for the day at ten and weighed myself again and I was down a half pound to 226.5 but I still count the 227 as my official weight as that is the time I weigh in every day , between eight and nine.

I find the hardest thing is not really seeing much differance in the mirror. When you have so much to lose, it takes so long before the changes are really noticable to yourself. Oh, other people who have not seen me make comments, but other than my clothes being noticably looser, I can’t see it.

Thinking about that last night and how frustrated I have gotten in the past when I was no as dedicated to good health as I am this time around, I realized it is just something I have to deal with one day at a time. I cannot rush it. I will not give up. I just have to get up each day and make the important choices that help my health and contribute to my goals, and see the big pictures always in front of me. Thank hard about what I am working towards, great health , no meds needed, and feeling and looking better and better each month.

So, just a day at a time, like we always hear, but it is so true. I can’t worry about tomorrow, I cannot regret yesterday, I just have to look at each decision I make today as impacting the future days and what will happen and make the best decisions I can each day to make the next day better.

One day at a time. Period.

Well, I ended today on a much better note  food wise. My husband and I wanted to go out for dinner and looked online at some of the low cal choices in our favorate restaurants and decided on Outback steakhouse where we could each have some of thier whole grain bread, a small loaf apiece, a piece of grilled chicken and some wonderful fresh steamed veggies. I ended up getting two batches of veggies because mine did not have the squash, so I only ate half of the chicken breast and brought the other half home for tomororw.

My calorie count for today is 1545 which is  great.

I am on my third liter of water, it is harder to get all four in when my husband is off as we are running here and there but the next two days I will be home so I will have no problem getting all four in Sat and Sun.

My clothes are so much looser today, I cannot believe it. I am wearing a shirt that I have not been able to wear since I bought it. I had bought two shirts that had ties in back that look like this and fit good but the three others one with tie backs and two without were tighter and I never returned them. Now, they are so big, I cannot wear the tie back ones that did fit and the other three will not fit me for long, they are all of a sudden getting to big.

I am happy with how today went and plan on having every day be like this. No more gonig out to eat without researching it first. I am sure from time to time, we will not be able to, but we will just asked for grilled chicken or fish and veggies and that should be perfect.

I am really looking forward to seeing 225 on that scale, only two more pounds till I reach that goal !!!